"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

How many days I would spend in bed too afraid to face the world. How many times I would deny my own Truth just to appease the expectations of others. How many times I would project onto others the pain I didn't know how to process.... then feel intensely guilty and turn on myself with a depth of self-loathing and judgement no one deserves. There was once a time where I would wake up almost every morning, burst into tears dreading the day ahead, cry all the way to work then wipe my tears away, put a smile on my face and start my shift and no one would ever know.... 

Until I had a panic attack on the job… 

Quite simply I felt completely stuck, helpless, unworthy and at the mercy of not only the world around me but the world within me - the world of thoughts, feelings, reactions, triggers and impulses.  I had a bully in my own head that I couldn't escape from and I didn't know what to do. So I distracted myself by getting busy checking the boxes society tells you to tick in order to live a “fulfilling and happy life”. Get a good secure job - tick. Get a partner and house - tick. Have solid financials and a great social life- tick.... 

And yet I was confused.... "Is this really it!?" I remember saying to myself.  I was discontent to say the least and I soon realised that perhaps following societies "rule-book" for "success" was not the answer.

 So I quit my job, moved to the other side of the world and started a new life in Canada... only to find after two years of care-free fun my problematic patterns had re-surfaced stronger than ever. They didn't go away, I had just become better at avoiding them and I found myself in a deep, dark night of the soul even though I was living in one of the most beautiful places in the world (Banff, Canada) with a seemingly great life! 

It was during this dark night of the soul I experienced a stroke of grace, a flash of insight... where I realised that perhaps living a life of peace and fulfillment is not necessarily about re-arranging the outer world to keep you happy but to first take care of the inner world .... as this is the filter through which we see and experience the outer world.  And maybe, just maybe doing so would lead to a mirrored experience in the outer world... 

It was from this moment that I delved into meditation, non-dual philosophy, the mind-body connection and esoteric studies and have never looked back. I have tried, tested, studied and developed many different modalities, using my own journey as an experiment to discover: what truly works in healing these patterns and what doesn't.

And who are we beyond these patterns and conditionings?

The last 7 years have involved a mix of incredible highs and transformational moments as well as incredibly low and dark ones. Many times I have come face to face with my shadow (the unseen parts of us yet to be acknowledged and accepted) and have many times experienced the falling away of these layers as they integrated back into my being. 

I have learned that these layers of the conditioned self are NOT YOU nor are they “bad” or “wrong”. Whilst they may create pain or discord among us, if you know how to work with the pain, like alchemising lead into gold, the darkness can actually be utilised to help you heal, to help you uncover & embody more of the light that you truly are. 

I have learned that healing occurs through integration, not disintegration. It is through integrating, welcoming and embracing these shadow aspects that leads to their healing & liberation, bringing you into more wholeness, deep satisfaction and peace of mind & heart.

It was through not just one approach but a combination of many that has helped me to go from: anxious & fearful to calm & centred; from unworthy & disempowered to knowing an inherent sense of belonging and walking a path that's true to me rather than true to the expectations of others. 

Whilst I know the journey back to Self never ends and the inevitable challenges of life will continue to rise and fall (we are eternal students after all), I am so thankful for my past suffering for it has led me to develop the tools & resources to face these challenging moments with more empowerment, grace and compassion.  It has led to a healing journey back to wholeness & Truth.  And it has inspired me to help others do the same for themselves. This is the work that I am here to offer and it is an honor to serve as a guide on your path as you journey back home to the Self.